Judgement of Others - Part 1
There are two parts to thinking about the Judgement of Others: them judging you and you judging them.
To begin today, I wanted to write about the first one.
I often find myself acting and then thinking ‘I wonder what XXXX thinks of what I did or said or wrote’. Or, even before acting, I tailor my actions around what I THINK others may think about me.
And so I begin my journey into the field which is filled with traps.
The first trap is to mind read others’ thoughts. Hang on a second, how on earth do I know what anyone is thinking or feeling? Which leads me to the second trap: do I think I am so important that my actions can infiltrate into others’ lives. Then the third, that I am so special that I am NOT judged by others.
This myriad of thoughts seeps into my actions and I am in danger of not acting for fear of what others may think.
All too often this leads me, my clients, people I observe to restrict themselves and their choices without even giving things a go. There is no hard evidence against taking a risk and yet our perceived guesses alone can stop us in our tracks. (Heaven forbid you actually have some examples of when people actually have judged you harshly).
So I ask myself, what is it that those resilient people have, you know the ones who seem not to care about harsh criticism; the ones who carry on regardless despite feeling hurt or those who seem not even to hear. As a society we can call it arrogant or ignorant but perhaps, just maybe, we could stop guessing or trying to work it out and just act. The insight may come later but if you have something you want to achieve which isn’t hurting anyone else, what is there to stop you?
So next time you want something and you are reticent, check in with yourself about why and, if it is for fear of judgement, challenge that thought and be true to yourself.