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Self-doubt


What is self doubt all about?

Expressions which start ‘self’ are funny, if there is a reference to self, this implies that the speaker is looking from outside of him or herself. That implies there is an external judgement. It’s a bit like self-value, self-esteem, self-worth, self-confidence.

When clients use these expressions, I immediately wonder two things:

1. They are very in their ‘heads’, in their story, in their thoughts and instead of trusting and feeling, there is judgement going on…….

2. Who is the judge?

In my experience, most people have a go-to, default judge in their heads. There may be a few of them in there but often there are a few key people who perhaps expressed judgement of the speaker earlier in life (they probably didn’t mean to by the way, they just caught the speaker at a vulnerable time or an important developmental stage). This judgement or doubt got set in time and space and our more simplistic brain parts have used this one or maybe two incidents to generalise and distort their perspective on life. The speaker may well be making a habit of deleting evidence to the contrary.

So if you find yourself self-doubting, ask yourself where and when you learnt to do that and then perhaps challenge it with a bit of trust and feeling.